Amazon Excuses, LinkedIn Bros, No Moats & Bryan Forgot (Again)

This week, we’re tackling the LinkedIn connection crisis, DTC brands with zero competitive advantage, the eCom whiners blaming Amazon for their own failures, and—shockingly—Bryan forgot to write his rant (again).

Here’s what’s cooking:

😤 Amer tells brands to stop blaming Amazon for their own failures
Oh, Amazon is hurting your business? Amer is here to tell you—Amazon isn’t the problem, you are. Fix your checkout, offer real support, and stop acting like you’re fighting a monopoly when you can’t even ship on time.

🔥 Jimmy takes on LinkedIn Bros
You know the ones—the self-proclaimed Growth Marketing Ninja-Guru-Wizards who hit “connect” without a single word. Newsflash: that’s not networking, it’s digital spam. Jimmy’s here to remind you that LinkedIn isn’t Pokémon—you don’t need to catch ’em all.

🏰 John reminds DTC brands that they have no moat
If your entire business model is running ads and praying for a profit, congrats—you’re not building a brand, you’re running a temporary arbitrage play. John lays out why customer experience is the only real moat left in eCommerce (and why most of you are ignoring it).

🎥 Bryan forgot to write his rant, so here’s a video
Yep, we’re all stunned. Instead of words, we bring you a fresh clip from his self made social segment “DTC Bros” this time featuring Taylor Holiday. Stick around until the end—it’s worth it.

This edition’s hotter than a LinkedIn Bro’s buzzword-packed bio. Read it, laugh, and if it stings—good.

The AI-Driven Future of eCommerce: What to Expect in 2025 - EP33

In this episode of the ASOM Pod, we’re diving deep into the AI jungle—breaking down ChatGPT, Claude, Grok, and all the shiny tools brands are using to personalize, create, and (allegedly) work smarter, not harder. But let’s be real—it’s not all magic and efficiency. AI has its own baggage, and we’re not here to sugarcoat it. Grab your headphones and check out the episode here.

Amazon Isn’t the Problem… YOU Are.

Ooooops, I said it. Stop [bleeping] whining about Amazon when you’re still handing them your money like a brainwashed Prime addict. 

So Amazon is hurting you…

you know what it’s called when you do something over and over and over and over and over again that really hurts you? Insanity. 

You’re not “fighting” Amazon—you’re just mad they’re better at this game than you.

Look…Bezos didn’t start Amazon to be what it has become and I don’t think he knew that it would be something this big. No one did.

 ❌ Do you ship your product every election cycle or the next day? They offer 2-day shipping, but nothing stops you from having same fulfillment…and not the [bleeping] type when you just add a tracking number that doesn’t get scanned for 5 days.

❌ You know the company you hate that hides their terms and return policies? Do you do that? Be honest!

❌ Is it faster to checkout on your store then getting a new license at the DMV? Dane Cook calls the DMV “Satan’s Asshole” in one of his stand ups…don’t let your checkout be one too.

❌ How about support? Does it match the passion (rather lack of) of cable companies like Comcast and Spectrum?

❌ Amazon outranks you on SEO? But you know where new generation brands dominate Amazon? SOCIAL! Content Creation! Too much work? Too shy to be in front of the camera? If the answer is yes…that single handedly means that Amazon is not punching you in the face hard enough and you are ok with taking the blow.

Add whatever else you want here.

Look…I know it is hard. Really [bleeping] hard. But, at the end of the day…there is always an angle. The angle has always been there. Dig deep.

YOU. GOT. THIS.

There is a lot to battle with…how did AG1, Hoka, The Farmers Dog, and many, many others do it?

It’s 100% possible.

Focus on where you can compete, what you can adopt…how us little guys need to stop getting our behinds handed to us.

• 🔥  Sell the brand, the experience, the results…

• 🎓  Be customer first – with education, returns, and continuous value. LIVE IT!

• 🔄  Compete in how you handle returns and exchanges and be more transparent than the 4 year old kid was about weight 2 days ago.

• 👥  Put real, accessible people in front of your customers…get away from chat bots or even worse……silence.

• 📢  Be transparent. Not just on site…but off site. Own it everywhere. Every pixel of every screen, channel, store…

• ⚡  Amazon has one click checkout, well Shopify gave you Shop Pay.

• 💬  Engage with positive and negative reviews…equally

• 🔎  Find niche channels for customer acquisition…Amazon is terrible, terrible, terrible at social.

• 🤝 Work on partnering with brands and service providers to compliment their products or services. Strategic partnerships are undervalued.

There is so much. Hell, you can even take user experience tips from Amazon.

Focus on you, the authentic you. Focus on your brand, the authentic brand.

There were Amazons before Amazon. There was and is Target and Walmart. There was Sears. There is Macy’s. There was Marshall Fields…and guess what…in 5, 10 or 20 years there is still going to be some giant that rolls on the little guy.

Learn from them. Live with them…and beat them in what they can’t compete with you.

The LinkedIn Connection Crisis: Your Random Request Isn’t “Networking”

Can we talk about the absolute state of LinkedIn connections? 

Because I’m losing my mind over here watching my inbox fill up with connection requests from random ‘Growth Marketing Ninja-Guru-Wizard-Champions’ and ‘Results-Driven Strategy Catalysts’ who can’t be bothered to write a single sentence about why they’re trying to connect.

Listen up, LinkedIn networkers – hitting that connect button without a message isn’t networking, it’s digital spam.

You’re basically the corporate equivalent of that person at the bar yelling ‘hey’ at everyone who walks by, hoping someone, anyone, will respond.

That’s just not how you network.

And let’s discuss these profile headlines. ‘Passionate about leveraging synergistic opportunities in the digital transformation space.’ 

Cool story, bro. 

What do you actually DO? 

Because right now, it looks like your full-time job is collecting buzzwords and stringing them together like badly made corporate poetry.

Here’s a revolutionary idea: If you want to connect with someone, maybe, just maybe, tell them WHY. 

Are you interested in their work? 

Do you have a specific question? 

Did you read something they posted? 

Literally anything is better than the professional equivalent of a cold call.

And please, for the love of all things professional, stop with the ‘I’m just looking to expand my network’ excuse. 

That’s like saying ‘I’m just breathing to expand my oxygen intake.’ No kidding. Be specific. Be intentional. Be INTERESTING.

To everyone who’s about to hit that connect button: If you can’t spend 30 seconds crafting a personalized message, you probably don’t need to be in my network. 

This isn’t Pokemon – you don’t have to catch them all.

And if you’re one of those people with ‘100k+ connections’ in your bio like it’s some kind of achievement – congratulations on your digital hoarding. 

Quality over quantity, folks. 

Always.

You Have No Moat Unless You Build One.

If your entire business is just running ads to sell products at a slim margin, congrats! You don’t have a business. You have a temporary arbitrage play.

One of the only real moats left in e-commerce is customer experience. And yet, most brands treat it as an afterthought.

🚚 Faster shipping when everyone else takes a week.
📞 Real support when everyone else is outsourcing to a chatbot that gives the same three useless responses.
🤝 Building trust so customers come back instead of price-shopping your competitors.
🌎 Creating a community where customers feel connected beyond just a transaction.
📢 Content that provides actual value instead of just another sales pitch.

Brands that get this right do more than just acquire customers. They build loyalty. They turn buyers into fans and fans into advocates. And in a world where ad costs keep rising and competition keeps growing, that is the only real advantage left.

It is also common sense, but apparently, that is a rare skill in 2025.

🚨 Breaking News 🚨 Bryan forgot to write his rant for today’s ASOM newsletter

I know, we’re all shocked. But don’t worry, instead of words, we bring you… moving pictures.

Here’s a fresh clip from his DTC Bros segment featuring Taylor Holiday, and trust us—you’ll want to stick around until the end.

And that’s a wrap on this week’s unfiltered takes! If you’re hooked on our no-BS rants (or just love the chaos), be sure to hit that Subscribe button and let us keep your inbox spicy. 🌶️

And of course, don’t be selfish—share with your friends, coworkers, or anyone who needs a wake-up call from their boring newsletters.

Have an ASOM day ✌️