Marketing Myths, Fake Hustle, SaaS Scams & Your LTV Reality Check

This week, we’re calling out business operators who treat marketing like an expense, exposing the grindset posers, torching SaaS pricing scams, and reminding you that low LTV isn’t bad luck—it’s bad strategy.

Here’s the heat:

🔥 Jimmy says slashing your marketing budget is like holding your breath to save oxygen
You can’t just ‘cut costs’ and expect growth. That’s not how this works. While you’re patting yourself on the back for “saving money,” your competitors are out-marketing you and stealing your customers.

💩 Bryan says SaaS pricing should be illegal
Imagine if Nike charged you a ‘usage fee’ every time you tied your sneakers. Or if Yeti disabled your cooler unless you paid a ‘cold storage subscription.’ Sounds ridiculous, right? Then why do we tolerate SaaS brands doing it?

🪞 John says most people don’t actually want success—they just like looking busy
Posting late-night hustle pics? Filling your calendar with pointless meetings? Bragging about how little you sleep? That’s not success—that’s cosplay.

💸 Amer says your low LTV isn’t a mystery—it’s a mirror
Stop blaming “disloyal customers” and start asking if your retention strategy is actually worth a damn. Are you treating repeat buyers like VIPs or like old news?

This edition hits harder than the realization that your “cost-saving” marketing cut just cost you your pipeline. Read it, learn something—and if it stings? Good.

The Great Discount Debate of eCommerce: Growth Strategy or Brand Killer?- EP36

In this ASOM Pod episode, we’re diving headfirst into the Great Discount Debate—are you building a brand or just running a never-ending clearance sale? We’re exposing brands that thrive without slashing prices and calling out the discount addiction that’s tanking margins and cheapening reputations. Buckle up, because it’s about to get spicy. Grab your headphones and check out the episode here.

Marketing Isn’t Optional: A Wake-Up Call for Delusional Business Operators…

Let's have a chat about the most backwards business logic I keep seeing: Companies slashing their marketing budget to 'save money' while expecting magical growth. 

Make it make sense.

You're out here playing business operator like it's a game of Monopoly, thinking you can just pass GO and collect customers without investing in marketing. 

Newsflash: That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.

'We need to cut costs to improve profitability.' immediately guts marketing budget 'Why aren't we getting any new leads?'

This is like saying you're going to win a marathon by stopping your training to save energy. The mental gymnastics required to make this make sense deserves an Olympic medal.

Here's what's actually happening when you pull back on marketing:

• Your competitors are eating your lunch

• Your brand is fading into obscurity

• Your sales team is dying of thirst

• Your growth is flatlining faster than a heart monitor in a horror movie

And the best part? These are the same operators who'll turn around in 6 months and panic-hire agencies at premium rates because they're 'not hitting their numbers.' 

Yeah, no kidding. You can't plant seeds in winter and expect a spring harvest.

Let me make this kindergarten-simple: Marketing isn't a cost. 

It's an investment. It's your business's oxygen. Cut it off, and watch everything suffocate.

'But we're focusing on organic growth!' 

Cool story bro. 

How's that working out while your competition is blasting their message everywhere and stealing your market share?

Here's your reality check: If you're not investing in marketing, you're not in growth mode – you're in slow death mode. You're just too scared to admit it.

To every CEO and operator reading this: Stop treating marketing like it's optional. Stop thinking you can growth-hack your way to success with zero investment. Stop being penny-wise and pound-foolish.

Because while you're busy 'saving money' by cutting marketing, someone else is busy stealing your customers with theirs.

The market doesn't care about your budget constraints. It only cares about who's showing up consistently and making noise.

Choose wisely.

🔥 Hot Take: SaaS Pricing Should Be Illegal – If Brands Did This, They’d Be Shunned

Imagine walking into a store to buy a coffee maker. You find the perfect one, but instead of a price tag, there's a salesperson grinning ear to ear:

☕ "That’ll be $19/month… forever."

Wait, what? You just want a coffee maker, not a lifelong financial commitment. But hey, if you want premium features like, say, brewing coffee hot, that'll be an extra $9.99/month. Oh, and if you stop paying? Poof—your coffee maker bricks itself.

Sounds insane, right? Well, welcome to SaaS pricing.

• They lure you in with "low monthly fees," then ratchet up prices once you're locked in.

• They gate keep basic functionality behind ridiculous up charges.

• They make it impossible to leave without wrecking your workflow.

If DTC brands pulled this nonsense, they'd be canceled overnight. Imagine Nike charging you a "usage fee" every time you laced up your sneakers. Or Yeti disabling your cooler unless you paid a "cold storage subscription."

But here’s the real kicker: In a few years, a 12-year-old with AI will be able to build any SaaS tool in 12 minutes. The entire playbook of overcharging for glorified spreadsheets and email automation will crumble overnight. The SaaS industry thinks it’s untouchable—until a generation of kids equipped with AI wipes out the need for 90% of their overpriced nonsense.

SaaS companies love to pretend they’re the future. But their pricing models? A ticking time bomb.

What do you think? Hit reply and tell me how many SaaS tools you’re dying to escape. 🚀

MOST PEOPLE DON’T ACTUALLY WANT SUCCESS.

They want the appearance of working hard.

They want to talk about the grind.
Post the late-night laptop pics.
Brag about how little they sleep.
Fill their calendar with meetings so they feel productive.
Read another book instead of applying the last one.
Hop on every new trend but never master the basics.

But when it comes to doing the boring, disciplined, repeatable work that actually leads to success?
That’s where they tap out.

Because real success isn’t glamorous.
It’s:
✅ Showing up when no one’s watching.
✅ Doing the same thing, better, every day.
✅ Mastering fundamentals instead of chasing hacks.

The loudest people in the room are usually the ones doing the least.
The ones actually making moves are too busy executing to talk about it.

So before you claim you want it, ask yourself:
Do you want the result?
Or do you just like the idea of chasing it?

When It Comes to LTV — Look at The Man or Woman in The Mirror

One of the most common things I hear brands complain about is low LTV like it’s some random act of the universe.

It is never, ever, ever, ever, eeeeeeever their fault. The real ones own it…the not so real, always blame everyone but themselves.

The customers just aren’t loyal anymore…
Retention is getting harder…

But here’s the [BLEEPING] thing…LTV isn’t something you get… it’s something you earn.

And if you’re not earning it, you need to take some advice from Michael Jackson: Start with the man in the mirror.

Because if customers aren't sticking around, maybe…just maybe…WELL MOST LIKELY it's not the customer...it's YOU!

Say it after me: I run a brand and I am the only thing responsible for customer retention.

Let’s talk about it. Heart to heart.

Are you actually giving them a reason to return? Like really, what is the strategy here?

Are you treating your customers like real people or just transaction IDs? Or, are you investing as much to keep them as you did to acquire them?

Are you making it ridiculously easy for them to buy again… or are you making them work for it? What is that experience realllllly like?

If your LTV is struggling, here’s how you can stop pointing fingers and start fixing it:

1️⃣ If customers have to "remember" you, you’ve already lost. Build post-purchase flows that make reordering as easy as breathing. Automate smart reminders. 45%+ of second time buyers come for the third time and if you just work at it a bit harder, 60% of third time purchases come back.

2️⃣ If any of your communication (emails, social, etc) sound like they were written by a corporate AI bot or someone with a doctorate in astrophysics, don’t be surprised when people ignore them. Be personal. Be relevant. Make them feel like they matter…because they do, and if you are reading this and disagree with me…unsubscribe to this email. Please.

3️⃣ If your unboxing feels like opening a cardboard tombstone and your customer service is as warm as an airport TSA line, why would they come back? Make every touchpoint feel worth returning to.

4️⃣ Stop throwing discounts at new customers while treating your repeat buyers like old news. Loyalty should feel like an exclusive club and when I say exclusive club, I do not mean Delta Sky Lounge where they let everyone and their neighbor in…ask John Roman, he knows what's up.

5️⃣ If your entire business model is based on churning and burning through new customers, LTV will never (ever) be there. Build relationships, not one-night stands.

LTV isn’t a mystery. It’s a reflection.

So before you blame the customers, take a good look in the mirror... because the answer isn’t out there. It’s you.

And that’s a wrap on this week’s unfiltered takes! If you’re hooked on our no-BS rants (or just love the chaos), be sure to hit that Subscribe button and let us keep your inbox spicy. 🌶️

And of course, don’t be selfish—share with your friends, coworkers, or anyone who needs a wake-up call from their boring newsletters.

Have an ASOM day ✌️