SaaS Slackers, Torn Calves, and $24K SaaS Scams

This week, we’re roasting lazy SaaS bros, sharing embarrassing stairway wipeouts, and exposing overpriced SaaS tools that are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Buckle up—this edition’s bringing the fire.

Here’s the spice:

🔥 Jimmy’s Sales Rant (Brace Yourselves Sales Dudes):
Jimmy’s calling it: Car salesmen > SaaS sales reps. Stop crying, start selling, and maybe put some actual effort into connecting with your customers. (Pro tip: it’s called work for a reason.)

💸 Bryan’s SaaS Scammer Alert:
Ever dropped $24K on software that’s about as useful as a Google Sheet? Bryan has. He’s officially done with SaaS tools that overpromise, underdeliver, and come with contracts that lock you in tighter than your grandma’s Tupperware.

😬 John’s Stairway Saga:
John tore his calf carrying a box down the stairs (no, it wasn’t Christmas decorations, Bryan)He’s laying down the challenge: Stop scrolling, start sweating before your body stages a full-blown rebellion.

🤌 Amer’s Humility Mic Drop:
Amer’s here with a reminder straight out of Kendrick Lamar’s playbook: “Sit down, be humble.” Real success isn’t about flexing—it’s about lifting others up and keeping your ego in check.

This edition’s hotter than Jimmy’s old car lot asphalt in July—read it, laugh, and maybe question some of your life choices…

2025 Business Goal Setting: Personal and Professional Perspectives - EP30

In this episode, the ASOM guys get real about 2024—spilling the tea on their toughest challenges, proudest wins, and how they’re keeping their big dreams in check without losing sight of reality. Expect unfiltered reflections, hard-earned lessons, and strategies you can actually use. Whether you’re an entrepreneur on the rise or just trying to survive the grind, this episode delivers the honesty, humor, and insights you didn’t know you needed. Grab your headphones and check out the episode here.

Car Salesmen Are Better Than SaaS Sales Guys

My hot take this week is about the lost art of sales.

We talked about it in the pod and I’ve got plenty of hot takes, but I wanted to rant more about it.

I started my sales career in car sales.

In 2001, I was given an opportunity to get on the lot in my cheap mens warehouse suit I bought for $99 bucks and run around on hot summer days to show potential customers cars.

I was sweaty, I would look like a mess by the end of the day, but I did one thing I was proud of.

I sold cars. 

A lot of cars.

In fact, I was #1 at the dealership at the age of 19 years old.

Why? 

Because I didn’t judge from appearance. 

I didn’t tell them about the features.

I didn't read the script.

Instead, I became their advisor. Their consultant. Their friend in the process.

I asked them questions, I learned about their desires. I connected with each human.

Regardless if they bought or not, I followed up with a phone call to thank them.

And when it was time to turn it on, I knew I had to convince them. I had to push for solutions to their problems. I had to use the information I gathered through my time with them to find a path to getting a yes.

As I look at modern sales people, specifically in SaaS, it’s gotten sad.

They’re lazy.

They have no hustle.

They complain and whine constantly about this and that.

They don’t know what it means to sell.

The art of sales is gone.

And yet, they earn an insanely cushy salary for their efforts plus a generous commission.

In 2001, I worked on a commission only plan, with a very small draw that I got that was taken against my commission.

If I didn’t sell, I made nothing. 

And if you made nothing, you were fired.

Buyers are smarter than ever. Buyers are more educated than ever. Buyers know what they want.

Your job is simple: Connect, make them comfortable and find a way to make them say yes.

And sometimes that requires pushing for the sale.

But you do that with your one gift you should have to be a great sales guy: the gift of gab. The gift of human connection. The gift to connect and create rapport in just minutes.

Most SaaS sales guys haven’t even gone to any traditional training or education to be better.

And that’s probably where it starts.

Learn strategies, invest in your trade, grow, become better.

And make cash.

SaaS Fatigue – Why Most eCommerce Tools Are Overpriced Gimmicks

🚨 Stop Overpaying for Overhyped Software! 🚨

As a business owner navigating the chaotic e-commerce landscape, you're constantly bombarded with pitches for “revolutionary” SaaS tools that promise to streamline operations, scale your brand, and solve all your problems. But here’s the truth most SaaS companies don’t want you to know: they’re overpriced, bloated, and rarely worth the money.

Take GRIN, for example… a so-called “#1 creator management platform.” We took the plunge after a flashy sales pitch, only to end up paying $24,000 for a tool that delivered the value of a mediocre Excel sheet. And unfortunately, GRIN is not an outlier; it’s a symptom of a much bigger problem in the SaaS industry.

💻 The SaaS Sales Trap

SaaS companies are masters of persuasion. They deploy smooth-talking sales reps armed with flashy demos, cherry-picked testimonials, and a whole lot of promises they can’t keep. Once you sign that ironclad contract (hello, auto-renewal!), you’re stuck paying for a platform that creates more problems than it solves.

Here’s the kicker: most of these tools are designed for enterprise brands with enormous budgets and teams. If you’re a small-to-midsize e-commerce business, you’re paying enterprise-level prices for features you’ll barely use.

🔍 Over-promised Features That Underperform

Let’s break down some of the most common SaaS gimmicks:

• "AI-Powered Discovery": Spoiler alert: it’s just a glorified keyword search.

• "Curated Solutions": More like copy-pasted suggestions from underpaid account managers.

• "Scalable Solutions": Translation: You’ll need a team of 10 just to use half of what they offer.

💸 The True Cost of SaaS

The average SaaS subscription will set you back five figures annually. Many promise to “save you time and money,” but if you’re a growing business with fewer than 1,000 affiliates or influencers, you’re paying for bells and whistles that are essentially useless. Instead of driving growth, these tools bleed resources and leave you scrambling to justify the expense.

🔑 A Simpler, Smarter Solution

Here’s a radical idea: skip the SaaS hype. Tools like spreadsheets, manual workflows, or affordable alternatives can do 90% of what these “premium” platforms offer, without the headaches or the price tag.

If your e-commerce business isn’t at the scale where thousands of creators, affiliates, or team members need automated workflows, you don’t need a 5-figure tool. Period. Focus on tools that fit your business today, not the version SaaS companies try to sell you on.

🚨 SaaS Companies, Take Note

The e-commerce world doesn’t need more bloated platforms. It needs better, affordable, and transparent solutions. Until then, brands like ours will keep waving the red flag, warning others to steer clear of overpriced tools that deliver on promises only during the sales demo.

SaaS pricing models are out of touch with the reality of running a growing e-commerce business. If you’re selling us a product worth $500, don’t charge us $24,000. It’s exploitative, plain and simple.

💡 Bottom Line: Don’t fall for the hype. Most SaaS isn’t built for you—it’s built to lock you into a contract. Do your homework, know your needs, and don’t overpay for promises a Google Sheet can deliver.

P.S. We’re done being SaaS guinea pigs. The next time a flashy platform comes knocking, we’ll stick with our spreadsheets and sleep like babies knowing we didn’t just blow the quarterly budget on fluff.

Wake Up Call.

Some of you might know that I tore my calf pretty badly a couple of weeks ago.

Taking a heavy box down the stairs (No Bryan, it was not Christmas Ornaments) and heard a loud POP followed by no ability to use my left leg and a race between the box and my body down the remaining stairs.

I got lucky, it was just my calf. 4-6 weeks full recovery. I am already putting some moderate weight on my left foot so I am hoping to come in under 4 weeks.

Regardless, It was a wake up call. The past year with a baby (turns 1 in two days) has been rough for me physically. This calf tear, tennis leg as they call it, happening without playing tennis is another symptom of the problem. What problem? Being out of shape (and fat).

In 2016, I went full time into BattlBox and one of the things that fell to the side was my dedication to the gym (IG Flashback from almost 10 years ago). Over the last 9 years, my usual daily routine involves sitting at a desk on the computer for 10 hours a day on average.

While I have done a great job prioritizing certain aspects of my life, I have failed at taking care of my body. 

The party is over on February 1st. Forcing myself to eat better and forcing myself to get back in shape.

Putting it out here as a form of accountability. 

The reality is I am not alone with this struggle. Work and other aspects of life can consume all of your time. This is not a unique issue. The issue is if you don’t prioritize physical health, you won't be on this planet for your maximum time. 

If you are reading this and have been putting off getting back into the gym or eating better or both, this is your sign.

Just f*cking do it.

Be [BLEEP]ing Humble

Most people that I have met are genuinely happy to see other people do well, see others succeed…

Now do not be fooled, success and happiness is not an absolute. It is very relative. Unique to each person and where they might be in life.

For some, success and happiness is measured in the time spent with loved ones.

For some, it’s the milestones of a flourishing career.

For others, it’s the risk and reward of entrepreneurship.

For some, it’s the thrill of travel.

For others, it’s the knowledge gained from the books they’ve read.

The ways we define success are as varied as the people who pursue it…it is a tapestry of infinite possibilities.

Negativity and hate, however, are not external forces hurled at us. They are internal. They seep into our being not because someone sends them our way, but because we allow them in or worse, seek them out.

I count myself fortunate and deeply grateful to have built relationships and shared conversations with remarkable individuals excelling in their own spheres of happiness and success.

The most inspiring part? These people, whether they’re parents driving a 10-year-old car while raising kids or entrepreneurs working tirelessly to ensure their team members keep their jobs, consistently root for others to succeed.

Humility is the golden thread that ties it all together. Stay humble, and the world will take notice.

And that’s a wrap on this week’s unfiltered takes! If you’re hooked on our no-BS rants (or just love the chaos), be sure to hit that Subscribe button and let us keep your inbox spicy. 🌶️

And of course, don’t be selfish—share with your friends, coworkers, or anyone who needs a wake-up call from their boring newsletters.

Cheers to a successful BFCM. ✌️