Social Media Paralysis, Mirror Checks, Loyalty Lies, & Your Annoying Home Page

This week, we’re calling out your social media stage fright, holding up a mirror to your hustle habits, trashing loyalty programs that deliver more frustration than rewards, and wondering why your home page is stuck in 2010 like Ke$ha.

Here’s the heat:

🔥 Jimmy says your social media paralysis is killing your growth
You’re hoarding half-finished posts like a content squirrel prepping for winter. Newsflash: Nobody cares as much as you think they do. While you’re editing that LinkedIn post for the 47th time, your competitors are posting—and growing.

🪞 John tells you to look in the damn mirror
Grinding for your family, your kids, your future? Cool. But if you're stealing time from them to “get ahead,” you’re missing the point. The deal will still be there tomorrow. Your kid showing you their latest masterpiece? Not so much.

💩 Bryan says most loyalty programs are as useful as a dirty toilet paper roll
Earn 1 point per dollar spent? Exclusive VIP tiers? Birthday coupons that expire before the candles are blown out? Spare us. If your loyalty program feels like a low-budget RPG grind, customers will bounce.

💸 Amer says your homepage carousels make him sick—literally
It’s 2025, not 2010, so why are you still clinging to those homepage hero carousels like they’re a Billboard Top 100 hit? Nobody’s clicking through all five slides. Heck, most people don’t even see the second one.

This edition hits harder than the realization that your “perfect” social media post flopped. Read it, learn something—and if it stings? Good.

The Creator Economy: Building a Brand With Influencers & Affiliates - EP35

In this episode of the ASOM Pod, we’re diving into real-world examples, including how Mr. Beast blurs the lines between creator and influencer and how Domino’s Pizza rebuilt its reputation by owning its flaws. We also unpack why creators with strong communities and organic reach often drive more engagement, plus what this means for brands looking to level up their influencer marketing game. Spoiler alert: Micro-influencers might just be your brand’s MVPs. Grab your headphones and check out the episode here.

Your Social Media Paralysis is Killing Your Growth: A Reality Check

Let's talk about your sad social media draft folder – you know, that graveyard of 'almost perfect' posts you've been hoarding like a content squirrel preparing for winter.

Here's the cold, hard truth: Nobody cares about your content as much as you think they do. 

Really. 

That post you've been editing for the last three days? 

The one you've shown to five different people for 'feedback'? 

Yeah, most people will scroll past it in 0.2 seconds while sitting on the toilet.

You're out here acting like each tweet needs to be submitted for a Pulitzer Prize when the reality is, social media is basically a massive digital party where everyone's talking and half the room is drunk on their own thoughts.

But what if people judge me?
What if it's not good enough?
What if nobody engages?

Newsflash: They will. It's not. And sometimes they won't.

Welcome to social media..

Where 90% of your bangers will flop, and that random thought you had while brushing your teeth might go viral. It's not a meritocracy – it's a casino.

But here's the thing: you can't win if you don't play.

While you're sitting there polishing that LinkedIn post for the 47th time, your competitors are out there, throwing content at the wall like they're getting paid per post.

And guess what? They're growing. They're learning. They're adjusting.

Meanwhile, you're still debating whether your period should be a semicolon.

Here's the formula that actually works: Think it ➡️ Post it ➡️ Move on with your life

No committees. No focus groups. No 'let me sleep on it.'

Because the truth about social media success isn't about perfection – it's about presence. It's about consistency. It's about being in the game.

So here's your permission slip to be mediocre.
To hit post before you're ready.
To share that thought that isn't fully baked.

Stop treating your social media like it's your doctoral thesis and start treating it like what it is – a conversation.

Sometimes you'll say smart things.
Sometimes you'll say dumb things.
Most times, you'll say things that nobody even notices.

And that's perfectly fine.

Because the only real failure on social media isn't a post that flops – it's the post that never sees the light of day.

Now close this post, open your drafts folder, and start hitting 'publish' like your growth depends on it.

Because it does.

And eventually you’ll start to figure it out.

And you’ll start to see the fruits of your labor show up.

And even then..people still don’t care about 99% of the shit you say.

But when it hits 1% who cares....That’s when social media starts working for you. 

Just fucking post.

LOOK IN THE DAMN MIRROR.

Why do you do this?
Seriously. Stop. Answer the question.

If you’re grinding for your family, for your wife, for your kids, for the people who matter, then why the hell aren’t you with them?

That extra two hours you spent "getting ahead" today?
It didn’t move the needle. Not really.
The deal will still be there tomorrow.
The emails can wait.
The grind isn’t going anywhere.

But your kid? The one who wanted to show you something?
Your wife? The one who gave you that look before you said, "Just 10 more minutes"?
They notice.

I notice. Because I do this too.
I tell myself I’m doing it for them.
Then I turn around and steal time from them to "get one more thing done."

It’s a lie. And we both know it.

So here’s your reset.
Step away.
Shut the laptop.
Put the phone down.
Go be with the people you say you’re doing this for.

Because the business will always demand more.
Your family just wants you.

Your Homepage Hero Carousels Make Me Sick

Let’s talk about it.

What is this? An undecided syndrome? You can't make a grown up decision of what you want your customers to do?

Those homepage carousels you’re clinging to like it’s still 2010. And your excuses are like Kesha in 2010 -- all “Blah Blah Blah!”

More importantly they’re killing your FREAKING conversions.

Here’s the thing...nobody’s clicking through all five slides.

Heck, most people don’t even see the second one. Studies show that the first slide in a carousel gets nearly 90% of all clicks, while the rest are basically digital wallpaper...and they just slow down your website.

You know, what you should care about...LOAD TIMES!!!

Think of your homepage like a first date. You’ve got a few seconds to make hell of an impression.

Would you spend that time rattling off five different facts about yourself? Nope. You’d hit them with your best line...the one that gets them interested.

I mean, kinda like B.o.B. in 2010 with “Nothin' On You”...

🎶 Beautiful girls all over the world
🎶 I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
🎶 They got nothing on you, baby

When you throw a carousel at your visitors, you’re basically speed-dating them with five different pitches at once. It’s confusing. It’s overwhelming.

And guess what? Confused people don’t buy.

Let’s not even talk about mobile users. On a phone, those slides are basically thumb exercises.

Nobody’s swiping through your “Summer Collection,” “New Arrivals,” and “Limited-Time Sale.” They’re trying to find what they need fast.

Every extra swipe is another chance for them to bounce.

Ditch the FREAKING carousel. Literally an executive order...from THE MAYOR!

Pick your most important message...whether that’s a product launch, a killer promo, and make it the star of the show. The hit of 2025 not 2010!

One clear, focused message above the fold. No distractions. No second-guessing. Own it!

Because when it comes to eCommerce, clarity converts. Confusion doesn’t.

And trust me... nobody misses the carousel.

The only thing from 2010 that you should be feeling is like DJ Khaled "All I Do is Win" because that carousel is making you lose......money!.

Loyalty Programs Are as Useful as a Dirty Toilet Paper Roll

Loyalty programs. You know, those overcomplicated point-based schemes that promise you exclusive rewards, only to give you a whopping $5 off after spending your entire life savings.

Let’s be honest: loyalty programs are the dirty toilet paper roll of e-commerce. You see them, you think maybe this will be useful, and then reality hits… you’re left with nothing but regret and a mess to clean up.

• “Earn 1 point for every $1 spent!” → Great, so after spending $500, I get a 3% discount on my next order? Revolutionary.

• “Exclusive VIP tiers!” → Ah yes, let me work my way up the social ladder of your store like it’s a medieval feudal system. What’s next? A loyalty tax?

• “Birthday rewards!” → A 10% off coupon that expires before I can even finish my cake? Touching. Truly.

Most loyalty programs are too complicated, too slow to deliver real value, and ultimately, just another way for brands to pretend they’re doing something special. Customers don’t want to grind for discounts like it’s a low-budget RPG; they want real, instant benefits.

Want to keep customers coming back? Make your product so good they don’t need a bribery scheme to return. Or at least, if you must do a loyalty program, make it simple, actually rewarding, and not an elaborate points-based hostage situation.

Otherwise, you might as well be handing out dirty toilet paper rolls, because both are destined for the trash.

And that’s a wrap on this week’s unfiltered takes! If you’re hooked on our no-BS rants (or just love the chaos), be sure to hit that Subscribe button and let us keep your inbox spicy. 🌶️

And of course, don’t be selfish—share with your friends, coworkers, or anyone who needs a wake-up call from their boring newsletters.

Have an ASOM day ✌️